Every single one of my private clients always starts off in our first few sessions saying that their life is a seemingly constant bombardment of pressure and stress, with no real purpose or direction. It would appear there has never been a more complex time where we find our lives so intertwined that it is all too often difficult to see the wood for the trees. It’s fair to say, life can quickly become one constant action, leading to a reaction, leading to another action and so on. Before we know it, we are fire fighting our own lives and our blurred existence instead of prioritising them and the things in it that are important to us, and reinforce living happy.

There are plenty of articles on HuffPost about different ways of confronting challenging situations and feelings. A myriad of ways and guidance about helping you to prioritise and move forward but there is one key thing that not many cite and illustrate. There is the first step in any journey that most articles presume to assume you know and do — the single thing that must happen if you are to create any positive change in your life. This week, I want to discuss something I call “suppression, regression, depression.”

Suppression literally means to stop, prevent, restrain or reduce. By suppressing something, you are effectively blocking it. In this article, the context of suppression relates directly to your inner voice, or as I like to think of it, what’s really in your heart — the self. In other words, suppressing how you really feel and not talking about it, or not doing something you want or need to do as a result.

A reaction to physically suppressing your heart would be that you die. A reaction to suppressing your inner voice is that your brain will try and compensate for this. This compensation could result in inner anger, frustration or in its simplest form, you not doing or saying what you really want to do or say. Why bother? The negative results of not speaking your mind or following your heart are far reaching and can be given permanence.

Suppression in the context of this article and in its generic form will never allow positive change. You will not progress or move forward. So if you are not moving forward what are you doing? Standing still? Going backwards? Either way, you are regressing. It may not feel like regression immediately but by blocking positive change you are actually creating and allowing additional time for the negative results your brain creates to reproduce, propagate and permeate. This is regression at its stealthiest, most powerful and most damaging.

Regression can only be stopped by positive change and moving forward. You create positive change by avoiding suppressing your own self. The moment you start listening and acting upon what is really within you, is the moment you stop regression and start creating a positive platform to live happy. If you allow the regression to continue this will lead to the final element — depression.

I have written about depression in previous articles and I don’t want to focus on it because most people know what it means. Whilst some may not know how it feels, it sufficient to say it’s never an outcome that anyone would ever wish for. It is the darkest place that is all consuming with a very difficult exit.

Unsuppressed regression leads to depression — don’t suppress yourself!